It points us at certain goals and tells us to aim for them. Society helps keep us sane because it shows us the codes to the social game, which we slowly ingest over time. Staying absorbed in your sphere of movement-full of friends and family and enemies-rather than isolating and drawing into oneself, produces stress and annoyance, but it is worth it. It can motivate and prevent you from spiraling out of control. Stop and pay attention to the feedback you get from others-verbal and non-verbal. So instead of criticizing social institutions, allow them to critique you. Community has a way of reminding us (sometimes kindly, other times less so) how to speak and behave. These are the people most likely to tip over the psychological deep end-and it’s unlikely they’ll land anywhere good.

When the no’s pile up too high, it becomes clear that someone is not well-integrated into the social fabric. What about a career or even just employment? Does it deliver some measure of satisfaction and purpose?ĭoes their education level match their goals and competence-or could they go further?Ĭan they clearly express their ambitions for the future and define the roadmap to get there?ĭo they spend their free time in activities that are meaningful? For this reason, when Peterson sees clients, he begins by probing not just into the inner world, but into their social worlds.ĭo they have close friends and a more general social circle?ĭo they have a stable and gratifying romantic relationship? Some of psychology’s pioneers focused so heavily on the individual that their works underestimated the importance of community in the formation of whole and healthy individuals. “Be grateful in spite of your suffering.” “Do not allow yourself to become resentful, deceitful, or arrogant.”ġ2. “Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationship.”ġ1. “If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely.”ġ0. “Try to make one room in your home as beautiful as possible.”ĩ. “Work as hard as you possibly can on at least one thing and see what happens.”Ĩ. “Notice that opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated.”ħ. “Do not hide unwanted things in the fog.”Ĥ.

“Imagine who you could be and then aim single-mindedly at that.”ģ.

“Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions or creative achievement.”Ģ. Here are 12 more rules that explore the theme:ġ.

This book is about the dangers of too much stability and control, and the dynamism and meaning that can be lost when individual lives and societies become too rigid. Too much chaos is obviously harmful, but so is too much order. The first book was about finding antidotes to life’s chaos: “Put your house in perfect order before criticizing the world,” “Stand up straight with your shoulders back,” and so on.

Beyond order 12 more rules for life